Baldiness

The Hair Chair

by Bald Man on April 6th, 2006

Here’s a new one on me. According to this story there’s a new way to re-grow hair. All you have to do is sit down… in an ELECTRIC CHAIR!

OK, I’ve got your attention. Here’s the copy from WNEP in Pennsylvania.

Combating baldness is practically an industry unto itself. The littany of products and services aimed at getting peoples’ thinning hair thickly restored is an impressive one.

One distributor in Wichita believes he has a revolutionary item to restore hair simply. All you have to do is sit down in his chair.

The technology behind this chair has been used on chemotherapy patients for years. Several clinical studies show a high success rate in retaining hair and the regrowth of hair.

It works by using an electric pulse, a non-invasive electro-static pulse. Those low-frequency energy waves are the key. But don’t expert results overnight.

Try once a week for 12 minutes for 4 to 8 months. Then you might notice changes in your hair, even though you’ll feel nothing when you sit in the chair.

Its makers say it is safe, powered by a 12 volt battery.

What will they think of next? When will the bald stand up and say, “Hey! Stop jerkin’ my chain, you hairy monkeys! First lasers, now electric chairs! WTF! We’re bald, not stupid?”

Oh, yeah. I know when this nonsense will stop. When the bald stop shelling out cold hard cash for crap like this. So, my fellow Bald Men (I use this term in a gender inclusive kind of way.) it’s time to exhibit some self respect. Tell ‘em to keep their crap.

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POSTED IN: Hair Replacement