Baldiness

Happy Father’s Day

by Bald Man on June 17th, 2006

Father’s Day is tomorrow here in the US. Let’s take a moment to appreciate him… and his lessons on finance. He was always trying to teach you how to be wise with your money. You may never have realized how deep his love went. It went all the way to the genes he passed onto you. Here’s what you save because you’re bald…

• Shampoo - Suave is a bargain brand, priced around a buck a bottle, and getting a month’s worth of showers is probably aggressive. (I’m guessing here; after all, I’m bald. I’ve been finishing off baby shampoo bottles for the last five years.) If you’re a bit more metrosexual, up the savings for the gourmet ‘poos, conditioners, and sundry product you know you’d use. $1 x 60 years of adult baldness = $720 saved
• Haircuts - Going for the bargain, again, let’s use Supercuts with their $8 cheap-o special. (I knew of a place in college that would do it for $5. It was a carpeted barber shop, if that tells you anything about the guys technique.) Hairy people probably get a trim once a month. Again, metros should double, triple or quadruple the price appropriately. Finally, I’ll offset a new set of $20 clippers every decade… to be fair. $8 x 60 years of adult baldness - $20 x six pair of clippers = $5,630 saved

I’m not adjusting for hats or sunscreen; you’ll buy those anyway.

Grand total savings: $6,350. Even with today’s prices, that gets you a nice vacation pretty much anywhere you want. Or a nice little nest egg in the IRA. Or season tickets to your favorite team for at least a few years.

So, why don’t you give your dad a call and thank him for those bald genes he passed on to you… collect, of course.

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