6 Reasons Bald Men Make Better Lovers
Let’s cut to the chase, ladies. In no particular order here’s why you want a Bald Man.
1. Attention. Men with highly maintained hair have to spend their time and money maintaining that ‘do. That’s time and money a Bald Man would be spending on you.
2. Evolution. Bald Men are the future; the hairy are a dying breed. Hair is vestigial structure lingering from the old days when we didn’t know how to wear layers, heat our homes and stay indoors during blizzards. Bald Men are more advanced, whereas hairy men are more monkey-like.
3. Testosterone. Excess testosterone is a cause of male pattern baldness. Testosterone is also useful in other areas of life. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
4. Simplicity. This is related to #1, but expanded. Bald Men live simpler lives. Less product crowding up the shelf in the shower. Less effort coordinating schedules around his and her salon appointments. Less time spent getting ready to leave the house. The simpler his lifestyle, the better for you.
5. Confidence. A Bald Man is a confident man. You don’t want some one whose self-confidence is so fragile that they need to stroke their ego by brushing their hair. Don’t waste your time baby-sitting some hairy namby-pamby. Find a confident Bald Man.
6. Sensitivity. The flip-side of #5 is that Bald Men are also more sensitive. Society is always telling us how inferior we are… even if society is wrong. This oppression means a Bald Man is more adept at listening and showing empathy than those guys who have hair stuck in their ears.
So there you have it, ladies. Now, go get yourself a Bald Man.
Tags: alopecia, b5-science-and-health-theme-day, bald, baldness, hair-loss, loveRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Bald Humor, Topic du Jour
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11 opinions for 6 Reasons Bald Men Make Better Lovers
stef
Feb 8, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Hey Cory! LOL!! I’m sending this to all my girlfriends and relatives who are married to hairless men, so they can appreciate their guy just a wee bit more, heh heh heh. Thanks! Happy V day to you and Kerri.
Katharine
Feb 8, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Right on target! I wouldn’t trade my balding honey for any hairy guy in the universe!
Steve Remington
Feb 9, 2007 at 10:14 am
I am more monkey-like. :D
Bald Man
Feb 9, 2007 at 11:14 am
stef,
Thanks for the well wishes. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours, too.
Katharine,
Glad to have you on board!
Steve,
No need to worry; surveys show most people still think monkeys are cute. Look how popular they are at the zoo! :D
Steve Remington
Feb 9, 2007 at 11:47 am
Yes but from the following link it is common knowledge monkeys have no more mentality than to fling their own poo at zoo attendees.
http://www.problogger.net/archives/2007/02/08/how-to-blog-with-voice-and-increase-community-and-readership/
Bald Man
Feb 9, 2007 at 11:51 am
I didn’t say people thought monkey’s were smart; just cute. :P
Steve Remington
Feb 9, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Ah, gotcha. :D
Wait, I don’t get it… nyuck nyuck…
getsheila
Feb 10, 2007 at 3:01 am
You used an image of a Cadbury Caramello chocolate bar, my favoritest candy bar in the whole world. Are you taunting me?
I would LOVE a bald man but the only ones I know are married. Or 85. Or married AND 85.
And the search goes on..
Inside Fatherhood » Get Evolved, The Evolution of Dad
Mar 27, 2007 at 9:32 am
[…] I will submit an application. I am a nurturing dad of 5 kids under the age 7. Now if that isn’t evolved I don’t know what would be. documentary, evolution of dad, fathers, fathrhood, nurture, […]
Al Sensu
Jul 13, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Thank you.
Your sentiments are echoed by Christine Lavin in her song “Bald Headed Men.”
Vin
Nov 8, 2007 at 11:06 am
A recent Today Show segment on “Bald Men: Is it Hot or Not?” came down decisively on the confidence factor. Shaving your head is an in-your-face “I’m bald and what of it?” thing.
Google segment title or search msn video under segment title or try this link:
http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&vid=a2cc4021-54c7-4453-86d2-a9112b10be28
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