Baldiness

3 Things Every Bald Guy Should Own

by Bald Man on April 3rd, 2006

Spring has sprung in the Northern Hemisphere (Well, I guess it’s Spring in the Southern, as well, but the implications are different.) which means outdoor activities are creeping back into the calendar. For me that means soccer games, walks with the family and this year a veggie garden. Outdoor activities bring some special concerns to bald guys, particularly pasty white Irish ones like myself. With that in mind, here is list of three things every Bald Man should own.

1. A hat.

This kind it okay.

This kind is better.

This kind is overkill.

Not only should you project your scalp, your forehead and your nose; but you should also take care of your neck and ears. A baseball hat doesn’t help there. A bucket hat does.

I actually have two: An old one for yard work and other chores, and a newer, cleaner one for walks, golfing, trips to the park, etc. I suppose you could go really fancy, if you wanted, and bring back the fedora.

That’s entirely up to you.

Don’t worry about what others will think. The unenlightened among us are already giggling at our bald heads. But they’re unenlightened, so what do we care? Baseball hats might be “cooler,” but a full brim will do a better job of saving you from sunburn and possibly skin cancer.

2. Sunscreen.

A hat is your best defence, but there are certain things you just can’t do while wearing a hat.

Play soccer.

Go swimming.

Kick alien butt.

For those occasions, and others like them, you’re going to need sunscreen. Some of you can get away with SPF 4 or SPF 8. Pasty, white Irishmen, like myself, better look for SPF 30 and higher.

Just as important as SPF is sweat resistance. It’s amazing just how much sweat gets trapped in your hair. If you don’t have any hair… well that’s why some guys wear these:

I don’t like headbands; in addition to be fashionably questionable, they leave a funny tan[strikeout] sunburn line. That’s why I go with a good sunscreen that’s sweatproof. I’ve found those designed for babies work great.

3. Moisturizer.

Even if you have a hat. Even if you have a good sunscreen. Unless you stay in a panic room during the daylight hours, you’re bound to get at least one sunburn. Happens to me every year, several times a year. Sunburns are as inevitable as death and taxes.

When they happen you should do three things: Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate from the inside - Drink lots of water. This minimizes peeling skin and has an reduces pain. I’m not a doctor; just a Bald Man who’s had too many sunburns to count, and I’ll telling you: Water helps! Remember: alcohol and caffiene actually dehydrate your body. Plain old water is your best bet.

And hydrate from the outside - Cover your head with an intensive mousturizing lotion. Again, raid the baby aisle. I’ve been using some Aveno for a while. Works well, and smells nice. Alternatively, raid your lady’s cosmetics. Those same products she uses to reduce wrinkles and fine lines will help hydrate your fried scalp. The mantra once more:

Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!

With these three things on hand, a Bald Man is all set to enjoy the great outdoors.

Get a Bucket Hat from Amazon.com

Get Suncreen from Amazon.com

Get Moisturizer from Amazon.com

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POSTED IN: General, Head Care